Foundations 1
PART 1
8-Minute Read
pages xxiii-xxviii
Whether you are new to this adventure of intentionally creating your own way in the world or have been at it for some time, I’d like to share with you a context for Intentional that will serve you on your journey.
THE TRUTH
The real value of the work in front of you does not come from me having something new to say but from you having something new to see through your direct experimentation with each choice. I say this earnestly—I don’t want you to believe anything I’ve written. Most of the time, belief is nothing more than mental acknowledgement of a concept and devoid of the corresponding action needed to actually make a difference in the quality of your life.
Again, do not believe me.
Nothing here is written to be right. Nothing here is written to be true. What I offer you with each choice is a new platform on which to stand and look at your life. From a new point of view, what do you see? Notice what’s working, what’s not working, and what else is possible for you.
Many of the choices,
and the things I say about them,
will land as gobbledygook to you.
And that is on purpose.
This book is not a social media post looking for “likes” and agreement. Anything that already makes sense to you, as well as anything that you already agree with, has no capacity to stretch you beyond who you already are. There is gold inside of you, and you will not access that treasure as long as you continue looking at your life in the same way as you have up until now.
This work is expressed
in a manner meant to get your attention
and help you uncover the gold
that has been buried inside of you for far too long.
It is intended to get under your skin
and into your life.
When the material disturbs or disrupts you in some way,
that is a great sign that you are striking gold.
So when an assertion hits a nerve,
keep digging.
Anytime you find yourself reacting to an assertion with some version of “I don’t believe that,” “That’s not true,” or “What about…,” that’s the sign that you’re striking gold. In those moments, I’d like you to approach the disagreeable assertion as if you were trying on a new suit in the dressing room of a store or taking a new car for a test drive.
What do you notice about yourself in this moment?
Whether you agree with the assertion or not—buy it or not—is irrelevant with respect to seeing something new about your life as a result of trying it on.
Additional questions to help you try on disagreeable assertions:
What about this assertion bothers me?
With which of my beliefs does this assertion conflict?
What about this assertion works for me?
In what ways do I resist this assertion in my life?
In what ways would this assertion serve me?
In what ways would this assertion not serve me?
What else is possible for me related to this assertion?
The point of this entire book is to see for yourself
something you’ve never seen before, and in so doing,
access possibilities you’ve never had before.
So give yourself a break from the mental gymnastics off figuring out whether or not my words are true. Instead, use your direct experience with this material to discover and create a new possibility for your life.
FREEDOM
With every choice in this book, you are free to choose it and you are free to not choose it. You are free to act, and you are free to not act. You are free to say yes, and you are free to say no. There is no choice presented as a should, must, or ought. Every choice is simply your choice. Notice that when you fully own your freedom to choose, it produces an empowered experience with each choice.
When you abdicate your freedom to choose, it produces a disempowered experience with each choice. Ownership versus abdication—even that is your choice. You are the creator of your experience with Intentional.
WHEN CHOOSING SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE
Sometimes a presented choice may not look like something that can simply be chosen. Instead, it may look like an outcome rather than a choice that produces an outcome. The presented choice may also look like a situation outside of your direct control. How do you consciously choose an outcome or a situation outside of your direct control? Short answer: you choose it by choosing how to see it.
To unpack this idea, let’s consider Viktor Frankl’s premise that you are free to choose your attitude in “any given set of circumstances.” He’s really onto something here. The attitude Frankl is referring to is much more powerful than merely choosing to be happy when times are tough. No, to choose your attitude in any situation is to choose how to see the situation—to choose what the situation means to you, what you say about it, and ultimately what you decide is and isn’t possible, available, and accessible for you in it.
How you see is both a filter and an activator playing a tremendous role in the quality of your life. Right now your brain is making thousands of how-to-see choices every minute that determine what you pay attention to and the meaning you make out of it. This process can be a wonderful strength or a horrible hindrance, depending on how your brain has been trained to interpret life. How you see is constant, continual, and predominantly unconscious.
People that regularly struggle to produce desirable outcomes usually do so because of an unconscious, unintentional how-to-see choice running undetected in their life—a choice to see their desired outcomes as not possible, not available, and not accessible. Until such a person becomes aware that this is the choice they are unintentionally making, it will never occur to them to choose otherwise.
Your freedom to choose your attitude means that in any given circumstance, you have the capacity to alter how you see your situation. So when in the course of this book it seems that the presented choice isn’t possible to choose directly, you can choose to see it as possible, available, and accessible for you instead. This is a choice that will transform your experience with life.
Here are a couple of practical examples that demonstrate choosing how to see when choosing seems impossible:
Example 1: Imagine that you desire to lead a successful company, and you have struggled throughout your professional life to attain the magnitude of success you envision. In a situation like this, success won’t look like something that you can choose directly. However, you can choose to see that attaining the success you desire is possible, available, and accessible for you even when the historical circumstances of your life suggest otherwise. The choice to see it as possible, available, and accessible will not only tune your awareness to the success you’ve attained already, it will also inform your follow-up choices and actions to produce success as a material result.
Example 2: Recall an experience you have had of great heartache or loss in a situation outside your control. When you look at that experience, do you see catastrophe or opportunity? Choosing to see opportunity as possible, available, and accessible for you, even in the midst of substantial heartache and loss, is the inalienable freedom you possess as a human being. It is the choice that will leverage every circumstance for your benefit.
So, the choice needed when it seems you have no choice is to choose to see the desired outcome as possible, available, and accessible for you. Seeing the outcome as possible, available, and accessible, in advance, precedes the way of making the outcome real as a result. Consciously choosing how you see a situation will empower you to identify new options of effective action for producing your desired result.
Don’t take my word on this. Test it out for yourself and pay attention to what happens.
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
52 Maxims of Conscious Choosing To Create the Deeply Satisfying Life You Desire.