WHY ‘BETTER’ KEEPS YOU FEELING BROKEN
3-Minute Read
You were never broken. Just buried.
There’s a trap high achievers fall into that no one warns you about: the more you improve, the more broken you feel. Not because growth is wrong—but because the starting point is. If you believe you’re fundamentally not enough right now, no amount of progress will ever scratch that itch; not for long anyway.
Today in The Grip, you’ll learn how to escape this exhausting chase of self-improvement—without abandoning drive or ambition—and discover how to create the peace you’ve been striving after once and for all.
Let’s dive in.
the self-improvement trap
She sat across from me, hands clenched, voice steady—but the kind of steady that takes effort. I could tell she’d mastered how to present as capable, high functioning, “fine.”
But beneath it? Exhaustion. Quiet despair. And a long-standing belief that something was still wrong with her.
“I’m doing everything,” she said. “I’m meditating. I’m reading. I’m advancing my career. But deep down, I still feel like I’m failing. Like I’m defective in some way. Like… I’m just not there yet.”
She wasn’t lacking discipline.
She wasn’t resisting growth.
She was trapped in a lie so insidious, it disguises itself as ambition: “I’m broken, damaged, and need to be fixed.”
So, I asked her the one question that calls out this common but unexamined assumption,
“What if you’re not broken?”
Silence. I waited.
“What if there’s nothing wrong with you — and never was?”
Something in the air changed. And just like that, the scaffolding of her self-improvement project began to collapse. The mental structure she’d built around being “not quite there yet” started to dissolve.
“If I’m not broken…” she whispered, “then maybe… I’ve been enough this whole time?”
That was the moment everything turned.
She didn’t need another strategy.
She didn’t need to optimize her morning routine.
She needed a new starting point-a whole new context for her life.
She stopped seeing herself as a fixer-upper and crossed the invisible line from exhausting self-improvement to powerful transformation.
You Can’t Fix What Was Never Broken
What I’ve seen, over and over again, with high-performing clients—founders, creatives, parents, visionaries, leaders—is this:
✅ They pursue growth, development, and self-mastery.
✅ They read the books.
✅ Take the courses.
✅ Do the hard inner work.
But they do it from the disempowered context of being broken, damaged, or in need of fixing. It makes the self-improvement industry lots of money.
Here’s why that’s a trap:
The more you try to fix yourself, the more broken you'll feel.
Not because you’re doing anything wrong—but because “broken” is not a doing issue.
It’s a being issue.
You can’t do your way into—or out of—being. Ever. Doing only ever reinforces and deepens your sense of who you are already.
Being comes first. Always.
When your pursuit of growth is rooted in the belief that something is fundamentally wrong with you, you create the endless loop of always striving & never arriving; the goal post always moving. No matter how much you learn or accomplish, it will never be enough—because deep down, you’ve already decided you are not enough to begin with.
So, consider this:
There's nothing wrong with you.
You’re not broken.
You’re not a fixer-upper project.
You are already whole & complete.
Already enough.
You just forgot this when the world started telling you otherwise.
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Why Work on Yourself, Then?
Clients often ask me, “If there’s nothing to fix, then why am I here? Why am I doing this work?”
Here’s my response:
“You’re not working with me because something is wrong with you. You’re working with me because who you think you are isn’t the real you. It’s just how you learned to see yourself a long time ago. Our work is to get that version of you out of your way…and get you operating in the fullness of who you truly are.”
You were never broken, just buried. Coaching is about setting you free.
Not fixing.
Uncovering.
Returning.
Revealing.
You are already enough.
Being enough is not a place to get to, it’s a place to come from. It’s where you start, not where you end up. When you build and develop from wholeness, the journey becomes entirely different. You’ll stop chasing who you’re not and start cultivating who you are already into the fullness you’re capable of.
So yes — pursue growth.
Yes — invest in mastery.
Yes — ask more from your life.
Take a moment right now and ask yourself:
What would shift if I lived from being enough already?
What if there’s nothing wrong with me?
What if there’s nothing about me to fix?
You’re here to remember who you were before the world told you something was missing. To shed what never belonged to you.
You are not broken.
You are becoming.
And that makes you more than enough.
“What if there’s nothing wrong with you...and never was?”
Stop striving to feel worthy. You already are. You were never meant to earn your way to wholeness. You’re meant to create from it.
When you live and lead from being enough, you’re no longer chasing success to prove or validate your worth. Success becomes a byproduct of the worth you already are. That’s how impact becomes effortless. That’s how peace becomes your new normal.
Keep creating!
key takeaways
Why does self-improvement often leave people feeling broken?
Because when growth starts from the belief that you're not enough, it reinforces the very identity you're trying to outgrow.
What's the alternative to fixing yourself?
Remembering that you're already whole, and creating from that place instead of striving to prove your worth.
How can leaders and creators shift into sustainable transformation?
By choosing wholeness as a starting point, not a destination—turning peace, ease, and self-trust into fuel for growth, impact, and legacy.
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
52 Maxims of Conscious Choosing To Create the Deeply Satisfying Life You Desire.