YOUR BRAIN’S TEMPER TANTRUM PT. 2
Being Wrong ISN’T Dangerous
3-Minute Read
Imagine two people in a heated argument, neither willing to back down, both determined to be right. What’s really happening? Two survival brains in fight mode.
Your survival brain isn’t just concerned with physical safety—it’s also obsessed with avoiding pain. And for many of us, being wrong was painful growing up. Whether it meant punishment, embarrassment, or lost approval, your survival brain learned early: Being wrong = danger.
As an adult, that old equation is likely still running in the background, insisting that you prove yourself right at all costs. When being wrong feels dangerous, you’ll instinctively defend, deflect, or double down—it may have protected you as a child, and now it’s a liability.
The price? Just your leadership, learning, relationships, and joy. This outdated perception of threat controls more of your decisions than you realize.
In Part 2 of our series on taming the overzealous survival brain, we’re confronting the false threat of being wrong—and reframing it as a key to growth, agility, and long-term success.
Because the moment being wrong stops signaling danger, you start becoming who you’ve never been before.
Let’s dive in!
(Catch up on Part 1: Rejection Won’t Wreck You)
Let’s dive in!
when survival means being right
As a child, being wrong wasn’t just a learning opportunity—it came with consequences: public correction, parental disappointment, or peer ridicule. Your survival brain, always on high alert for pain, encoded that lesson: “Being wrong = danger.”
And being right came with rewards: approval, attention, ice cream, etc.
Now, as an adult, that survival reflex still kicks in. It’s an ever-present agenda, and most of us have no idea it’s actually running the show. Left unchecked, we will choose being right over connection, fulfillment, and growth every time.
Pay close attention to the nature of your conversations and the conversations of others in business, politics, social media posts, church, television & film—the drive to be right and not be wrong is baked into the very fabric of society:
Be on the right side of history
Do the right thing
Refuse to admit wrongdoing
Remember, your survival brain doesn’t care about your aspirations or your desire to grow—it only cares about keeping you out of danger, even if that “danger” is just someone disagreeing with you in a meeting.
THE COST OF CLINGING TO BEING RIGHT
When you equate being right with being safe, you’ll avoid:
Admitting you don’t know something
Listening fully to differing perspectives
Taking smart risks that might lead to failure (and thus, "wrongness")
Pursuing new possibilities for your life that conflict with your perceived limits
You’ll stagnate in the illusion of certainty—when what fullness of life demands is curiosity, adaptability, and the ability to pivot.
Do you want to be right or be fully alive?
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MENTAL REFRAME: WHAT IF BEING WRONG ISN’T BAD?
Being wrong isn’t failure—it’s feedback. It’s the raw material of mastery. Look, if you don’t ever make mistakes, you’re not growing. Period. Next time you catch yourself reacting defensively, try this:
What if being right or wrong doesn’t mean anything about me?
What’s the actual risk here if I’m wrong?
What would I learn if I welcomed correction?
What’s it costing me to be right?
What will I gain if I give up being right?
Reframe being wrong as neutral data. When it’s no longer a threat, it becomes fuel to advance your life. This works not only in your relationship with others, but in your relationship with yourself as well.
I remember the day I was confronted with the possibility that finding the love I desired could be easy and quick. My survival brain immediately detected that as a threat: “What do you mean, easy and quick?!! How dare you. After all the years of struggle I’ve been through?”
I had a decision to make: keep being right about how difficult finding love was or choose to experience finding love as easy instead. I stopped being right about it, embraced being wrong, and gained freedom to create a loving relationship in a whole new way.
“Do you want to be right or be fully alive?”
Your survival brain was trained to equate being wrong with being unsafe. But that wiring is outdated—and it’s costing you clarity, confidence, and growth. It’s costing you the life you’re capable of. When you stop defending yourself and start learning from your missteps, you unlock exponential gains in every way possible.
In Part 3, we’ll tackle the final outdated survival instinct—our deep resistance to discomfort—and give you a new frame to benefit from everything discomfort brings to your life.
You’re not here to be perfect. You’re here to be fully alive.
Keep creating!
key takeaways
Why does being wrong feel so threatening?
Because the survival brain associates being wrong with danger, due to childhood experiences of punishment, shame, or rejection.
What are the costs of always needing to be right?
Avoiding growth opportunities, resisting feedback, limiting creativity, and sacrificing connection.
How can I reframe being wrong to support growth?
Treat mistakes as neutral data, not danger. Ask powerful questions, invite correction, and choose curiosity over control.
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
52 Maxims of Conscious Choosing To Create the Deeply Satisfying Life You Desire.