THE MESS THAT MAKES YOU
MASTERY DEMANDS UPHEAVAL
3-Minute Read
The greatest threat to your future isn’t failure. It’s loyalty to who you already are.
Every founder I’ve worked with eventually runs into this wall. The identity, habits, and strategies that once worked start to choke the very growth they created. Yet instead of releasing them, many leaders double down. They stay loyal to an old role, a dead system, a once-successful playbook. The cost? Burnout that drains your health. Teams that stall or walk. Millions left on the table by playing too small for too long.
Transformation is never tidy. It requires surrender. Something must be released, dissolved, even destroyed. And unlike a caterpillar, you don’t get a private cocoon. You do it in plain sight while your team, clients, and family watch you dismantle the old life to create the new.
The question isn’t if upheaval will happen when you transform. The question is: how will you lead through it?
Let’s dive in.
leading through upheaval
Giving Up the Old
There are identities and strategies that once served you but no longer fit your mission. In coaching we often say: what got you here won’t take you where you want to go. The greatest delay to your transformation is your death grip on an expired identity; whether it was once safe, successful, or necessary.
Clinging to an outdated identity is like climbing a mountain with a boulder strapped to your back.
One of my clients carried this weight far too long. For decades, he built a counseling practice. His education, money, survival—even his position in society—were all tied to it. But the role that once gave him purpose was now sucking the life out of him.
His breakthrough moment of clarity:
“Who I am is not a counselor. That was a role for a season. Who I am is a creator-being, responsible for everything I’m called to do in this lifetime.”
So he let it go, and got busy building a new business aligned with his next season of purpose: leadership training.
Then came the mess: unmaking what had taken him 20 years to build. He released not just an identity, but stability, income, and familiar systems for success.
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Becoming Someone New
Not all change is transformation. Tweaking behavior can improve outcomes, but transformation requires creating an entirely new game. The old system won’t support the new behavior; it will collapse under it. Which is exactly what needs to happen.
Transformation requires a new system built through generative language—the power to declare, design, and commit to a future that does not yet exist.
That’s what my client did. He acknowledged the end of the old. He declared the beginning of the new. He took responsibility for commitments to his family, partners, and clients. Through intentional conversations he established a new context for the future he was committed to creating. Some celebrated him. Some walked away. He allowed both responses without defense or justification.
He stood for his new life simply because he chose it; not because it was “right,” validated, or proven. That is freedom; the birthright of every conscious soul.
In the middle of the mess, he discovered realms of purpose he had never touched before. Today his message travels nationwide, his marriage and kids are thriving, and he leads with an energy and fulfillment counseling could no longer deliver. And when this season ends, he’s already committed: he will release it quickly so he can embrace the next one fully.
The mess isn’t an obstacle in your way. It is the way.
Clinging is stagnation. Releasing is growth.
“He stood for his new life simply because he chose it; not because it was “right,” validated, or proven. That is freedom; the birthright of every conscious soul.”
Who must you become to lead your business, family, and mission into the fullness of the vision you see?
From making every decision yourself → to leading a team that scales without you.
From running on fumes and whiskey → to building an energy surplus that powers your mission.
From a marriage strained by neglect → to a partnership reignited by trust and intimacy.
From playing small with investors, clients, or vision → to owning your message with conviction.
From parenting out of exhaustion → to showing up present, patient, and proud.
From sacrificing what matters chasing growth → to thriving in every domain without trade-offs
From clinging to the identity that once worked → to stepping boldly into who your future requires you to be.
Every day you delay, the cost compounds: burnout deepens, teams stagnate, opportunities slip, and the life you want drifts further out of reach.
At The Plenteous Life, we help visionary leaders like you navigate these upheavals with more speed, clarity, and precision than you could on your own. Transformation isn’t just about letting go of the old; it’s about building the language, mindset, and systems to support the new.
If you’re in the messy middle, CONTACT US for strategic help. Let’s create the future you know is waiting; starting now.
Transformation will always cost you the comfort of the old, but what it gives in return is unmatched: freedom, fulfillment, and expanded impact.
Remember, the mess isn’t failure; it’s evidence that the old system is crumbling so the new one can rise.
This week, ask yourself: What identity, role, or system am I clinging to that no longer serves who I’m becoming?
You are not what you cling to. You are the creator who chose it. And the one who can choose again.
Be the masterful leader your purpose requires.
Keep creating.
key takeaways
Clinging to old identities stalls growth and drains resources.
True transformation requires creating a new game, not tweaking the old one.
Leading through upheaval unlocks freedom, fulfillment, and legacy.
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
52 Maxims of Conscious Choosing To Create the Deeply Satisfying Life You Desire.