LEADERS DON’T BREAK HABITS THEY BREAK IDENTITY TRAPS
Shed The Identity That Repeats Your Past
3-Minute Read
If you think you are what you do, you’ll never change what you do.
Client: I’m such a procrastinator.
Me: Ah, well that explains it. Procrastinators have a terrible time getting things done. How will you ever stop procrastinating if you’re a procrastinator?
Client: Silence.
Me, leaning in: You won’t. Because procrastinators…procrastinate. Consider this: You have a procrastination habit; it’s not who you are. Now, how would you need to see yourself in order to act instead of procrastinate?
So many high-performing leaders, creators, and innovators remain stuck not because they lack ability, but because they’ve confused their habits for their identity. And when you mistake the two, you will fail to change the habit, because your action is always determined by who you think you are.
This week in The Grip, we’re breaking down one of the most liberating distinctions for leaders: Identity vs. Habit. You’ll learn how to reclaim your power to change what you do by first choosing who you are. If you’ve ever felt trapped by procrastination, overworking, people-pleasing, avoidance, perfectionism, or any other habit that just won’t budge, this issue is for you.
Let’s dive in.
identity vs. habit
How To Stop Being Who You’re Not
You are not your habit.
But you will keep recreating it until you stop identifying with it.
This is the fundamental misunderstanding driving so much unnecessary struggle: mistaking what’s practiced (habit) for what’s true (identity). And that mistake is the birthplace of Imposter Syndrome.
Just look at how we speak to ourselves:
“I’m not skilled enough.”
“I’m not consistent.”
“I’m just not that kind of leader.”
Language like this shapes what we see as possible. It limits the actions we take. And it locks us into performance patterns that don’t match our values or vision.
Here’s the antidote: Start identifying with who you’re committed to being, not what you’ve done before.
Declare the identity. Then practice the habit that supports it.
That’s not “fake it til you make it.” That’s authentic creation.
“I am an action-taker.”
“I am a bold and strategic leader.”
“I am powerful in follow-through.”
“I am building mastery in ___.”
Does it feel awkward? That’s not because it’s fake. That’s because it’s unfamiliar.
You’ve simply practiced a disempowered identity longer. Practice your new identity and soon it will become your new normal.
Language Creates Identity
In our Unmasking the Imposter series, we exposed how disempowered language keeps leaders trapped in performance patterns that reinforce a sense of being a fraud. The solution? Consciously generate identity-based language that aligns with your next level.
Say this aloud:
“I’m always overwhelmed.”
Now try:
“I am learning to lead with peace and precision.”
Which one gives you options? Which one puts you back in command?
Identity is created by declaration. Habits are reshaped and reinforced by repetition. The fastest way to real change is to start with a new identity and grow into it.
This isn’t: “I’ll believe it when I can prove it.”
This is: “I’ve chosen it, now I’ll practice living into it.”
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Why Fake-It-Til-You-Make-It Fails
Fake-it-til-you-make-it is rooted in fraudulence. It demands performance without authenticity. And it fails because it lacks the one thing that makes all results sustainable: integrity—the alignment of who you are, what you say, and what you do.
You can’t do your way into being; being comes first—always. Fake-it-til-you-make-it serves only to reinforce who you think you really are: an imposter.
This is why so many high-achievers feel like they’re faking even as their accomplishments grow. They’re performing a version of success that doesn’t align with how they truly see themselves.
Authentic creation works differently:
Choose a new way of being.
Declare it intentionally.
Practice it into habit.
Embody it as normal.
It’s not pretend; it’s powerful.
No proof needed (it doesn’t exist anyway). No permission required. Your choice is the evidence. Really.
If you missed our past issues on creation fundamentals and its essential framework, or just need a refresher, be sure to stop by Mediocrity or Mastery and Unlock Your Creation Mastery.
“You have a procrastination habit; it’s not who you are.”
You are not here to manage the habits of your past. You’re here to masterfully create who you’re becoming. Drop the language that ties you to old patterns. Choose who you’ll be now. And practice the habits that match.
Because when who you are and what you do align?
You’ll stop faking.
Your results will accelerate.
And you’ll start creating more than enough of what matters.
Keep creating!
key takeaways
Your habits are not who you are; they’re who you’ve practiced.
Identity must shift before behavior can sustainably change.Language creates identity.
The way leaders describe themselves directly shapes what they allow, pursue, and repeat.Authentic change starts with declaration, not proof.
Declare the identity, then build habits that support it; this is creation, not performance.
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
52 Maxims of Conscious Choosing To Create the Deeply Satisfying Life You Desire.