THE PRESENT IS NOT YOUR ENEMY. RESISTANCE IS.
Stop Fighting “What Is” & Results Transform
3-Minute Read
Masterful leaders don't argue with reality. They use it.
In college, I used to lock my friends in their dorm rooms with pennies. No joke. A few coins in a doorjamb created so much pressure the door wouldn’t budge. They were trapped—not by the lock but by resistance. That’s what resistance does to founders, too. When you resist “what is,” you’re stuck to circumstances; it drains your energy, steals your options, and stalls your mission.
Here’s the paradox: accepting “what is” makes space to create “what isn’t.”
This issue is about dropping the fight with the present so you can regain leverage, restore peace, and create your next result on purpose.
Let’s dive in.
dropping resistance
Pressure holds things in place. It’s why tension rods work. It’s why ancient Roman arches are still standing. And it’s why resisting your current reality keeps you stuck to it.
Carl Jung said, “What you resist persists.” Because resistance creates tension that keeps your situation as it is. But acceptance releases that tension, and suddenly you have room to lead.
Resistance Vs. Acceptance
Resistance repeats the same results. Acceptance creates new ones.
Resistance is an energy drainer. Acceptance is an energy multiplier.
Resistance makes you reactive. Acceptance makes you strategic.
Acceptance doesn’t mean you like it. It means you stop arguing with the facts. When you accept what is, you regain space and clarity. You can choose. You can lead.
Judo shows this perfectly. When your opponent pushes, you pull. And when your opponent pulls, you push. You move with “what is,” and you gain leverage.
The same is true in leadership. When reality pushes, you can use the force of the moment to reposition and create a new outcome.
I lived this lesson when I was abruptly laid off years ago. I was stunned. It was unfair. And then I made a choice: I stopped fighting the fact of it. I worked with it. I asked for far more severance than they were required to give. They said yes. That one decision bought me time, education, and a new path. My next job opened doors I could not have accessed from the old one. That layoff became one of the best breaks of my life because I dropped resistance fast enough to see new options and leverage them.
So let’s make this useful for you.
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The Neutralizing Resistance Method
This is a fast, practical process for shifting resistance into acceptance. Don’t try to talk yourself into it. Try it on like a new lens. Relax into a new perspective on an old situation and you’ll see your next move.
For any situation you’re resisting, you’ll work through four paired phrases designed to help you neutralize your reaction to either outcome:
“I’m okay with it being (the way it is). I’m okay with it not being (the way it is).”
“I’m willing for it to be (the way it is). I’m willing for it to not be (the way it is).”
“I look forward to it being (the way it is). I look forward to it not being (the way it is).”
“I choose for it to be (the way it is). I choose for it to not be (the way it is).”
Step 1. Pick the situation you’re fighting
Choose a specific situation you’re resisting right now, at work or at home. It’s often something you don’t like or think should be different. Make it concrete, like:
“This client is unhappy.”
“Revenue is flat.”
“My marriage is hard.”
We’ll use “Revenue is flat” as our example today.
Step 2. Run the four paired statements
Say each pair out loud. Not to believe it, but to stop arguing with the moment and regain leverage.
✅I’m Okay
I’m okay with revenue being flat.
I’m okay with revenue not being flat.
✅I’m Willing
I’m willing for revenue to be flat.
I’m willing for revenue to not be flat.
✅I Look Forward
I look forward to revenue being flat.
I look forward to revenue not being flat.
✅I Choose
I choose for revenue to be flat.
I choose for revenue to not be flat.
Step 3. Notice the resistance
Where does your body tighten? Which line does your mind refuse? This is the gold. Resistance is rarely about the situation. It’s about the threatening story you’ve attached to it. Download the Mastering Story Framework to help you drop that story.
Step 4. Act newly
Non-resistance is clarity for effective action. Given your reality—the way it is and isn’t—what new possibility do you notice? What’s your most powerful next move? Pick one action and do it today.
Show up newly in your situation and you’ll generate new results.
“Accepting “what is” makes space to create “what isn’t.””
Practice this method daily. Pair it with deep breathing and mindfulness. With use, it recalibrates your nervous system and opens new paths for action that were impossible in the tension.
It’s a reliable tool for leading with the clarity your mission requires.
Keep creating.
key takeaways
If you’re fighting the present, you’re leaking your energy instead of leveraging it.
Acceptance creates space. Space creates strategy. Strategy creates results.
Neutralizing your reaction to outcomes unlocks your clearest next move.
WORK 1:1 WITH BECKY
As a self-mastery coach, I help mission-driven founders accelerate desired results without sacrificing what matters. If that sounds like good news, REACH OUT to experience how 1:1 coaching can empower you to be the masterful leader your mission requires.
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
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