YOU BUILT IT…BUT DO YOU WANT IT?
Reclaim Success That Feeds Your Soul
3-Minute Read
Stewart Butterfield, the founder of Slack, once asked a question few expected from a world-class innovator: “What does this mean for me?”
He had everything: traction, valuation, press. But as Slack grew into a global tool, Butterfield felt a widening gap between his outer achievement and inner fulfillment.
He’s not alone.
According to an April 2025 report, 68% of leaders say they feel successful on paper but empty in practice. Though they’ve built powerful brands, teams, and empires, they’ve lost touch with themselves.
It’s a disorientation that happens more often than you might imagine.
In today’s issue of The Grip, we’re unpacking two quiet forces that erode satisfaction at the height of success and showing you how to restore the alignment that makes leadership worth it.
Let’s dive in.
architecting satisfaction
The Success Trap
You’ve checked all the boxes. You’ve crossed the milestones. So why does it feel... hollow?
Leaders across industries are echoing the same disillusionment:
“We hit our goals, but I’m running on fumes.”
“I don’t know what I want anymore.”
“I built the company but somehow, it’s not mine.”
“My business is thriving, but my marriage is struggling. My energy is gone.”
This isn’t just a crisis of exhaustion; it’s a crisis of clarity. And two major culprits drive it: Misaligned Values and Missing Presence.
Misaligned Values
It’s ironic. Many entrepreneurs launch their own ventures to live life on their own terms but never define what those terms are.
The result? They end up living someone else’s dream with their name on it.
Until what’s most important to you gets created by you, you’re not living your own life; you’re living an inherited life. You’ll never be fulfilled by success that’s misaligned with what you value.
You’ve got to get clear on what matters to you, and organize your life to fulfill it:
Identify the values that energize and empower you.
Audit your current commitments against those values.
Drop what doesn’t align. Invest in what does.
I recommend a quarterly review, because values evolve and daily choices can steer you off course. As you grow, hang onto the values that continue to serve you and upgrade the ones that no longer fit who you’ve become.
If you’re subscribed to our email, check your inbox for the Values Alignment Questionnaire we sent you to help facilitate this quarterly audit.
Clarify what matters now and rebuild around it. Your energy will increase and your life will accelerate when you do.
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Missing Presence
The second thief of satisfaction? Never being here.
Naval Ravikant calls it “nexting”—always thinking about what’s next, even when the moment you’re in is the one you once dreamed of.
You do it unconsciously:
You land the deal… and immediately think of the next.
You finish the product… and fixate on the next iteration.
You reach the goal… and move the goalpost.
The moment you arrive, achieve, or accomplish, your mind is off to the next, the next, the next. Nexting starts early in life. You learn to do it as soon as you enter grade school, and it never stops.
Alan Watts warned us of this trap decades ago:
“Suddenly, when you are about forty or forty-five years old in the middle life, you wake up one day and say, ‘Huh? I've arrived, and by Joe I feel pretty much the same as I've always felt. In fact, I'm not so sure that I don't feel a little bit cheated.’
Because you see you were fooled. You were always living for somewhere where you aren't. And while as it is of tremendous use for us to be able to look ahead in this way and to plan, there is no use planning for a future which, when you get to it and it becomes the present, you won't be there. You'll be living in some other future which hasn't yet arrived.
And so, in this way, one is never able actually to enjoy the fruits of ones actions. You can't live at all unless you can live fully, now.”
The antidote? Presence. A few minutes of mindfulness each day. A full breath before a difficult conversation. A walk without your phone.
I highly recommend Dr. Ron Siegel’s free guided practices to begin this foundational habit. Dr. Siegel has been a Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School for 35 years and has developed a neuroscience-based approach to mindfulness training. I found his guided meditations incredibly helpful when I began practicing mindfulness myself.
“Until what’s most important to you gets created by you, you’re not living your own life; you’re living an inherited life.”
Losing your why isn’t just a metaphor; it’s a real vulnerability for conscious souls. Success without satisfaction is just another form of suffering. If you’ve lost touch with your why, this is your wake-up call to reclaim it.
Take a look at what you’re building. Does it truly align for you? Your mission deserves more than your effort; it deserves you in it.
It’s time to lead yourself. Realign your values. Practice presence. And experience the deep satisfaction you’re designed to live.
Keep creating!
key takeaways
What causes successful leaders to feel unfulfilled?
Misaligned values and disconnection from present-moment experience.
How can I realign my leadership with what matters most?
Use regular values audits to refocus commitments around what energizes and empowers you.
What is “nexting” and how does it block fulfillment?
“Nexting” is the habit of constantly chasing the next goal, which robs leaders of the joy available in the present.
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
52 Maxims of Conscious Choosing To Create the Deeply Satisfying Life You Desire.