YOUR SERVICE IS WORLD-CLASS
Now Imagine Showing Up That Way For Yourself
3-Minute Read
You’ve mastered showing up for people. One person keeps getting missed.
Mark had thirty minutes blocked on his calendar before our call; time to get focused for his coaching session. And before he realized it, all 30 minutes got hijacked: a text, an email, a “quick” client call. None of it was an emergency, but all of it redirected his attention.
When we got on the call I asked him if any of that was a genuine crisis.
No. Just distraction. All of it could have been handled later.
“So what would it look like for you to protect 15 minutes to prepare for our call, the same way you protect your prep time for your clients?”
He went quiet, then: “Practically, it’s just the intentionality of doing it. I’m not having trouble squeezing it in. I’m choosing not to.”
“How do you see yourself that you haven’t prioritized preparation for your own development the way you prioritize preparation for your clients’ development?”
“They’re more important,” he said. “I would absolutely sacrifice my development for theirs.”
And that’s the blind spot running the founders I coach: the world-class treatment you would never withhold from a client is often exactly what you withhold from yourself.
It costs you becoming the leader your mission needs.
Today’s issue of The Grip identifies the belief driving it and gives you the questions to catch it before it costs you more.
the belief behind the blind spot
The Founder’s Double Standard
As the session with Mark progressed, he had a revelation: “The version of myself that’s available for everyone else, I don’t make available for me. It’s really weird how I prioritize for others what I won’t do for myself.”
He runs a leadership consulting practice that builds thriving teams and prevents burnout. He prepares thoroughly for every client. He’s disciplined. He just aims every ounce of it somewhere other than at himself.
I see this constantly, in founder after founder: full capacity for clients, teams, causes. Scraps for the one running the whole operation.
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Why capable leaders serve everyone except themselves
As we dug deeper, here’s what we found: Mark already knew the importance of prioritizing himself. He teaches this principle to other leaders. So what keeps him from practicing what he preaches? This is the classic sign of a disempowered story at work. With Mark, we found two:
A disempowered story about money: clients pay the bills, so if he doesn’t prioritize them over himself, there won’t be enough income.
A disempowered story about his worth: he can’t be proud of himself for simply being here. He has to succeed to feel good about himself, and he’ll never succeed enough to ever actually attain it.
If you’re in a similar place, not treating yourself as well as you treat those you serve, a similar disempowered story is likely running in the background for you, too.
“The version of myself that’s available for everyone else, I don’t make available for me.”
Your Actions, Not Your Intentions, Reveal What You Actually Believe
Pay attention to your actions, not just your intentions. Whenever there’s a gap between what you say you believe and what you actually do, your actions are telling the truth. Behavior reveals the older, stronger belief, the one installed before you had any say in it.
That’s the belief running in the background long after you’ve outgrown it.
6 Questions to Master the Belief Behind Your Own Blind Spot
New results don’t come from forcing new behavior. They come from mastering the belief driving it. Muscle new behavior on top of that belief, and it won’t hold. Change the belief, and new behavior and results follow.
This week, pick one thing you’d do without hesitation for someone you serve. A client, a team member, a friend. Then ask:
How am I seeing, or not seeing, myself, that I haven’t given this to myself before?
What identity or fear is running underneath that?
At what age did I start believing that story?
What do my actions reveal about what I actually believe, regardless of what I say?
What difference would it make for me to give myself the same service I give everyone else?
Who would I need to be to do it?
If you are already subscribed to The Grip through email, make sure to check your inbox for this issue. We’ve included a link to the Mastering Story Framework workbook to help you take this practice deeper and rewrite the disempowered stories getting in your way.
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Scheduling fifteen minutes on your calendar is easy. Seeing yourself as someone worth protecting those fifteen minutes for is the actual work.
You already know how to serve someone world-class. Now turn it toward yourself.
Keep creating.
key takeaways
Behavior reveals what you actually believe about your own worth, regardless of what you say you believe.
The instinct to sacrifice your own development for clients or team is often a disempowered story, not a fact.
Six diagnostic questions help you locate and dismantle the belief keeping you off your own priority list.
WORK 1:1 WITH BECKY
As a self-mastery coach, I help mission-driven founders accelerate desired results without sacrificing what matters. If that sounds like good news, REACH OUT to experience how 1:1 coaching can empower you to be the masterful leader your mission requires.
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
52 Maxims of Conscious Choosing To Create the Deeply Satisfying Life You Desire.