Unmasking The Imposter 1
3-Minute Read
Many leaders experience some degree of what is frequently called Imposter Syndrome: persistent self-doubt, fear of failure, and worry of being exposed as a fraud. It’s so common that even if you don’t struggle with it yourself, it’s likely that someone you value does.
This struggle might be limited to a single area of one’s life, and it often shows up in several: at home, work, church, community, etc. Though it's been highly studied, I find most advice on Imposter Syndrome misses the true source of the issue and even exacerbates the problem, rather than offer an effective solution.
What's the true source of Imposter Syndrome? It’s your self-perception—that you see yourself to be an imposter. Or we can say “who you are being” is an imposter first and foremost to yourself. On its face, that may seem overly simplistic, but "who you are being" is THE DRIVING FORCE generating your actions in any given moment. It’s also the most difficult realm of life to get a handle on when you don’t know what to look for.
So I’m going to break down three aspects of "who you are being" at the heart of Imposter Syndrome:
Language
Maturity
Discomfort
As you gain access to, and mastery over, these three aspects of being, you’ll have new options for dealing effectively with Imposter Syndrome. We’ll cover one aspect per week starting today with Language.
Are you under the impression that how you speak to yourself is informed by how you see yourself? I say that it’s the opposite—how you see yourself is informed by how you speak to yourself.
You came to see yourself as an imposter through disempowered language—you likely first heard it from others and then eventually learned to keep it going all on your own.
Pay attention to every thought you have or word you speak that begins with, “I am (am not), I do (do not), or I can (cannot).” These are powerful statements of being. Patterns of disempowered language such as, "I'm not enough, I’m a fraud, I don't deserve it, or I don't have what it takes," are the building blocks for seeing yourself as an imposter.
Do you want to spend your days pretending to be the man or woman to lead your team, family and community? Or do you want to be that leader authentically?
If you desire to live authentically, you must deal with the disempowered language currently running your life.
Stop using language that aligns with being an imposter.
Who do you desire to be in this area of your life instead? Competent? Skilled? Spectacular? Masterful?
Start using language that aligns with being the person you desire to be. Speak to yourself intentionally and diligently. "I am more than enough, I am capable, I do great work, I've got this, I’m the best _____ on the planet, I can learn this, etc."
“How you see yourself is informed by how you speak to yourself.”
You might be asking, “Isn’t using new language just more ‘fake it til you make it’ Imposter Syndrome BS?” Great question!
First, the irony—when treating yourself as a fraud feels normal, treating yourself as authentic will feel fake. If you have spent many years repeating disempowered messages to yourself, empowered language will initially feel awkward and strange…until it doesn’t. Keep practicing. Eventually it will become your new normal.
Second, the reality—language alone won’t create an authentic transformation in “who you are being.” Think of language as the scaffolding upon which your subsequent action will rest. It’s the beginning, not the end. AND, it’s essential; do not ignore the language aspect of “who you are being.” In fact, attempting to build new outcomes on top of faulty language is the Imposter Syndrome at work. Notice that.
There is more critical ground to cover. Stay with me as we access Maturity and Discomfort in the coming weeks and you’ll be empowered to create more of the authenticity you desire.
what has me inspired this week?
Who I’m learning from and the experiences impacting my own development. I find great value in them—you may as well.
Andrew Huberman and The Huberman Lab Podcast
In this long form podcast, Dr. Andrew Huberman and his guests explore science-based tools and perspectives for optimizing the human brain and body. I’m enjoying his deep dive episode on How to Master Growth Mindset to Improve Performance.
Discover more:
May you prosper in every way!
Becky & TPL Team
52 Maxims of Conscious Choosing To Create the Deeply Satisfying Life You Desire.